Stunt 47: Spot the difference

NONE......

Stunt 46: 壁虎。冰冻

saw a big mac lying on the dining table on evening and decided i shall consume it later. And when i got back, the big mac was nowhere to be seen....

depressed as i tot the usual happened and the big mac was being gobbled down fatty asshead's disgusting tummy, i prayed for a drink in the fridge. To my surprise, i saw the big mac in the fridge. then, the real surprise came. as the big mac was in its plastic carrier and tied, i took it out from the fridge and threw it on the table.

and as i unknoted the bag halfway, there was movement and fidgitting inside. I was stunnted and guessed more or so. the knn mother must have tied a lizard inside the bag. F stupid but rather lihai i must say. I overturned and true enough, a lizard came scrambling out, running for its life. TMD.

The mother is really always 扯my后腿de. sutc. GG lor, heng i saved the lizards life if not i will have new delicacy 冰冻壁虎lor.

Really makes me wonder, how come the mother dun accidentally tie the pigs in a plastic bag and keep in the fridge huh?

CCB

Stunt 45: 一失造成千古恨

某年某月的某一天，一个男人进了邮局。 从此，这男人的眼睛就贴着邮票了。眼睛贴着邮票的男人这时便遇见了一个女人。由于眼睛贴着邮票，这男生爱上了这女人。 之后，这个男的也和这女的结婚。 婚姻的理由有可能如以列：

1。 我
2。 一哭二闹三上吊
3。婚前婚后两个人

然而，这男人正为他一次错误的决定而付出代价。

1。 这女人带着两位姐妹，而这三人把他当男佣使唤
2。 不见棺材不流泪的男人还跟这女人生了多两个危害人类的异型
3。 为了避开她们和异性的轰唤， 他跑去当德士司机

可悲啊，可悲

Stunt 44: I believe I can fly....

Waking up in the fine cool rainy weather has neva been easy, but with some help from the mother, you be totally awake in no time.

As usual, i rose from the morning daze and made my way to the washroom;which meant i had to get by the kitchen. To my surprise(&Dismay), the mother was alrd awake and making a jingle in the kitchen. With heavy footsteps i walked towards the kitchen door and WHAM, I was slapped with the best wakeup call:

Mother:不要走过地上。。。
xm: den我要怎样？飘啊？飞啊？
Mother: erm,你大步一点走过去loh!!!

LPPL, TCSS

GG

Stunt 42: This blog is not dead, the pigs are still v much alive

Blame is the only way out for the long period of absence for this blog....

Blame it on the following:

1. The job that requires me to go with a cameraless phone ---> which leads to me being unable to capture the pigs in action

2. The pigs have not much really stuting stunts recently

3. all the other things that dun make me liable

and for updates.... the pigs have evolutionised.... they upgraded their boxers like how u would upgrade ya macdodo meals....

WOW Whee, its new boxers in army pattern..... as usual, the fark couch swine in his throne. Playing his laptop, watching tv, farting, couching and looking like a long piece of shit all at the same time.

" Dad, would u give me 50cents, so i can upgrade my boxers?"

Stunt 43: 落井下‘猪’

Things have been happening and a classic 败家子will step out and create more trouble in times of need and desperation.

1. I should be in HK enjoying my leave and free from the evil clutches of the pple here in sgp but no, i do not have such a luxiourious life and i had to be in the shit hole once again.

2. Of all times she muz discover she has BC. She cannot discover it b4 my leave or after my leave. She has to discover it juz when i am abt to go for my leave. How nice.

3. Granny of all times need to go for her post hospitalisation review, which, is not once twice but 6 times. Again how nice.

4. The other aunt gets notice of possibility that she will be retrench and goes into depression mode. How v nice for things to come together.

5. Upon seeing that so much is happening at home, and assuming that it is fun, Beer Pig decides to join in by going for a check-up on his dislocated left throtter. (yes. if u recall its the v trotter that he used to swin too fast so it dislocated.) And so good, the nice doc decides to go ahead and grant beer pig his chao geng plan by 'advicing' him to go for an operation to 'fasten' up his dislocated trotter ( Are times really that bad that docs have to operate on pigs to earn a living???) So happily beer pig gets his wish of chao geng from army and joins the list of pple who needs to be taken care of.

The qn here is once again the knbbccb wans to chao geng but can he choose a better time? No, men are selfish and it is exceptionally vivid in this god damn fark up place. There is alrd not enuf pple to look after the one that has BC and granny who needs to go for review checkups and now Beer Pig decides that if u cant beat them, join them. By going for the op he has benefits as follows:

1. A slightly stronger trotter so that it will not dislocate when he swims faster
2. He being operated on gets hospitalisation leave. No need to army. Can chao geng
3. As he is now a patient, he does not need to look after pple aka wait upon pple but b waited on
4. By doing so, the father has to stop driving taxi and acc him, hence, at the same time he can tell him of his piggy desires and hypnotise him into giving it $$$$$

6. Beer pig decides to complete his wonder act by annoucing to the mother that he wants to go to Australia to study. His rational for doing so - His flen is going. * Claps, blow trumpet, pops party poper, Fireworks. How nice a rational., And guess wad, the mother actually agreed and is now pulling her hair over where she is going to find the $$$$. ( I also pulling my hair, plus all other parts of me which has hair. Damn these fark arseholes)

So, When u are down, things will get worst. In times of need, the pigs will come hit u harder with their trotters instead of helping out. Illustrated as follows.,,,,,

Stunt 41: 命中注定根你‘对’。。。

When they say its fated, its really fated....

The blardy couch swine is one heck of a torn in the butt... heres why:

1. you dun wana take water drink he dun take. when u take, he come snatch with u
2. u dun leave the house, he also dun leave the house. end up haf to same lift with him
3. u dun wana use the toilet, he dun use. end up he stink the toilet until u cannot go in
and theres much more juz to name a few.....

Heres the latest additon......

I came back really late alrd, at abt 2am and guess wad.... I　ｓｔｅｐｐｅｄ　ｉｎｔｏ　ｔｈｅ　ｈｏｕｓｅ　ｆｏｒ　ａｂｔ　１５ｍｉｎｓ　ａｎｄ　Ｉ　ｈｅａｒｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｄｏｏｒ　ｏｐｅｎｉｎｇ．　Ｃｏｕｃｈ　ｓｗｉｎｅ　ｊｕｚ　ｃａｍｅ　ｂａｃｋ　ａｌｓｏ．．．．ａｎｄ　ｉ　ｔｏｔ　ｗａｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｆａｒｋ，　ｈｅｓ　ｌａｔｅｒ　ｄｅｎ　ｍｅ．　Ａｎｄ　ｉ　ｗａｓ　ｐｌａｎｎｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｇｏ　ｂａｔｈ　ｂ４　ｓｔａｒｔｉｎｇ　ｗｏｒｋ　ａｇａｉｎ　ａｎｄ　ｗｈｏ　ｎｏｅｓ，　ｃｏｕｃｈ　ｓｗｉｎｅ　ｗａｓ　ａｌｒｄ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｗａｓｈｒｏｏｍ　ｗｈｅｎ　ｉ　ｇｏｔ　ｔｈｅｒｅ．　Ｉ din noe fatties action so fast de....The best part of it all.... I got a surprise when i tried to use it after....

There was a pungent smell of sheltox/baygon. So i deduced...

1. Couchswine couldnt stand his own shit smell and tried to spray air freshener which;
a）he mistok the sheltox as air freshener
b) he thinks sheltox smell nicer
c) Heck, as long as no shit smell

2. Couchswine thinks he is v dirty and needs sheltox to get rid of his dirt

3. He thinks if he spray sheltox on itself, pple wun think he is a carrier of H1N1

4. The centipede from the previous post actually crawled up his ass/ or hid inside his tiny bush and refuse to come out. Thus he used sheltox to try get rid of it...

I shd haf a poll on which is the most possible... haha

Stunt 40: 九死一生

The father was admiring his recent buy of a new 金龙鱼, which he claims is suppose to be red and was certified to be red.... Seeing that the water was red and the lights were violet, the blardy fish had to look red, i decided to sorta give him a wake up call....

xm:水红, 灯 红, 鱼当然红啦!!
father: 这只有certificate de
xm: 我只看见那虫是红的!
father: 我抓了只蜈蚣给它吃, 但是纸袋有洞, 蜈蚣跑掉了...
xm: den, 跑去哪里?
father:不知道...

.................gg...........................

Stunt 39: Poly Pig.....

Not much updates recently because the pigs were not much in action... but the major turn abt would be that couchswine is now offically 'poly pig'. [Shit to the fact that i cant capture a shot of his er xin looks when he dresses up to go poly]. The mere fact that he thinks he is damn shuai pisses me off and gets my blood boiling....

自认英俊肖撒，多情浪子.....

Now it has one more toy to play with and he still thinks that he is damn good at wad he is doing..... on tv and use laptop at the same time....if u take a good look at the tv... he is watching some AT cartoon on channel 8....anything wrong with this? If u are looking on as a any random person, nothing is wrong, but from my pt of view.....he is one big fark dumb ccb wif lp growing on his cbf. Heres why....

1. I pay 60+++ bucks every mth for SCV only for a ccb lp cbf to hog the tv and watch channel 8.

2. There is someone hogging the tv and slowing down my dl speed at the same time...

3. There is nowhere else to sit at home.

Nowadays, couchswine receives a phone call and he will transform into poly pig.... menicing through the streets and leaving a trail of mess in the house....

Its priced possession now...which it thinks is v hip and cool....

And to think, it cause this piece of shit is SGD1990..... way off the price and carroted....

As usual, poly pig lp on cbf leaves its shit ard the place n goes out to.....

The biggest stunt of all was when we gathered for dinner and he made an announcement:

"我不要吃太多， 我要减肥“。。。

Stunt 38: 到底谁是谁?!!

Came home late from work one day to find this ..........



A couple of days back, i was waiting for the washroom to be avail so that i could take a shower from the weird hot weather. So as usual, the couch was at this trone while beer pig was nowhere to be seen. I stood beside the sofa and caught some action from the 9pm show and was delighted that dawn yeo's character shared the same name as my colleague.

I then heard the washroom door slide open so i headed for it.

Den came the shock, I saw couchswine walking out from the washroom. I was 99% sure i saw it on the sofa. How can it be walkin out of the washroom????

Hmm, den on closer look, i realised it was beerpig.

Woa, cannot blame me lor. They looK so balrdly alike and fat. Then both like to come out of the washroom with nothing but fats and a towel wraped ard their privates......

Beer pig with his new 恶心 boxers.

Couch swine showing how a split is done, Fatty style.

The conculsion and moral of the post is : They suck, Big time.

Stunt 37:他去拜年,我去睡!!

Chinese New Year is definately my most hated festive season. Heres why:

1. Its tmd noisy.( cause the noise is suppose to chase away some monster and gives pple excuse to play majong and keep pple awake.)

2. Makes pple fat from all the eating and eating and more eating.

3. The 三姑六婆 will come out from nowhere and ee ee ooor oor + fi li flare leh

4. Mus go 拜年. Of course 拜年 is a must with the elderly to pay respects to them but to be tied up at yr mums flens place the whole day is defn a no no.

5. Must 拜年 with them----->



Couch Swine posing at the restuarant door. 快我leh!!!!很饿了!!!!

The 2 animals at the mother's flens place. Max sian-ed so they look gloomy and sad. The beer pig is not allowed at beer while the couch king misses his own throne.

Couch swine tryin to act slim and squeeze between the cars. Tryin to seat in the front so that it can enjoy a nap along the way to the next boring destination,

Pissed from house visiting, couch swine walks with a stomp

The couch swine showing a pissed look when his order for more bacon wrapped sausages, char siew pau, chee cheong fun, har gau, xiao long bao and carrot cake has not arrived.

Finally, the sleeping godness of house visiting. 去到哪儿,睡到哪儿

Stunt 36: 作贼心虚

Admidst the CB Lin and 阿Sa "小酒窝", came a knock on my door. It was beerpig in his new disgusting boxers which i duno how to discribe except for 恶.

He wanted to borrow my IP Man 叶问 dvd. To my surprise he said 叶问 and not IP Man. So i went in search of it, knowing excactly where i left it. To my astountment, the dvd was not where i left it. I am sure i dun hav 老人痴呆 and noe where i left my stuff. I searched for it abit while beer waited. I gave up and beer reluctantly left. Suspecting something Piggish, i went out to the living room. As soon as i stepped out, i saw the cb couchswine behaving weirdly. He started to ask BeerPig he neva watch in the movies b4 meh? den he suddenly asked wad the father was doing and volunteered his help. He den started to tie ribbons on the plum blossoms.




值得怀疑? realli strange......


Orange Pig

Stunt 35: 我很容易满足的...

Its a bit late but nonetheless at least its here,

On the night b4 the Standard Chartard run, our fav F.Asshole dresses up and tries to leave the house. He tot he would not be discovered if he walked silently but to his dismay, his shaking fats aroused the attention of the mother. So here went the conv bet F.Asshole couching swine and the mother.

M:Where are u going?
CS: I am going to work
M: work wad? so late at this hr? (23oohrs)
CS:Ya, i am going to work part time.
M: where?now?
CS: Standard Charted Run. I go set up
M:Set up wad? where got set up so late one? how much thet pay u?
CS: Have la, u duno den dun anyhow say dun hav. they payin me 20sgd, i very easy satisfied one. 20sgd and one free addidas T-shirt i can liao.
M: U crazy ah, so little u still go. dun go dun go. u stay at home
CS: But i very easily satisfied one. I will go i tell u
M: U better not go. waste time. work until wad time?
CS: 6am onli.
M: So long so little money u still go. U stupid de u
CS: Stop callin me stupid. (CS den opens the gates in fury and runs away into the lift)

Seeing that she could do no further, the mother reluctantly gives up.......

The next day after the SC run, hes back at his throne once again, with 'style'


And heres the lastest collection of "I'll go buy rice" by beer pig.

As edible as anything could get in the world with 20sgd.

A bit of a sidetrack. Noticed some stolen bubble gum in JB Giant. Cant help but relate to the F.Asshole swine who does this all the time to my belongings. I get missing drinks, missing pieces of my dinner, missing dvd, missing clothes and the list goes on......