Beer pig handfone bill is 160sgd
Beer pig asks for 200sgd from father to buy camera-less phone for enlistment
Beer Pig asks father how much he is gona get as allowance when he is in army
Beer Pig calls father to pick him up at RP because its raining, when father arrive he ask father to ferry he and his frends to causeway pt. Den he ask father to go back while he go CWP wif his frends
Beer pig comes back at 4in the morn and sleeps thru the day. wakes at 2 to look for food. when father come back wif food. eat liao go back zzz again. nite wait for father come back wif car den slip away from mother notice. SOP everynite. got beer smell and keep askin father for $$$$
Beer Pig runs out of the house wif the car keys when mother is bathing
Beer Pig wayang infornt of the parents b4 they leave for holiday, offers to drive them to the airport but mother exposes him of his plot to hav the car for the week to himself
Beer Pig SUXS
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Stunt 23: The Chronicles of Couch Swine - The King, The 懒 and The 断手断脚
The King
The King siting on his throne, giving his best pose for all to aw at his figure.
The King still at his thron but finding his ass itchy, so he decides to give it a scratch. Nevertheless, not forgeting to show of his figure again...
Tempretaures fallin and despite the large amt of fats,The King still feels cold thus decides to cover himself with a quilt to keep himself warm. Has a cup of hot chocolate to aid his need and pamper himself at the same time....(Pls note the bloody cup that he uses)
The ultimate pose for all to admire his figure. Drapping over the corners where the couch breaks, is a perfect curvature. Desired by most but unacheivable by many...... Practised to perfection by The King over countless hours on his throne, this pose will fully show-off whad the King is made of...... The 懒
How do u noe that the bloody couch swine is at home even when all the windows are shut and the lights are off? The bloody gate will be left open as shown above...... It really pisses me off. Is it really that difficult to close the gate behinde u when u come in and then lock it? Well this seems like a really very thought job for the ccb Couch Swine..........----->This is why........
The door knob from the inside of the door is turn-styled de. Hence if neba guess wrongly, our friend takes out his knnbccb keys, unlocks the gates, steps in and juz closes the door behind him, turning the knobs to lock the door only. The only explanation for leavin the gate open is he is simply too fark lazy to use the keys one more time to lock the gates or he is too lazy to stretch his piggy arms out to pull the gate in. Therefore, The 懒 simply closes the door and locks the door only.... the end result to the other pple......see below...
Open the door and what awaits u is bear openess and total exposure. I dono if others feel this way too but when u open the door expecting to see a gate infront of u and u dun see it, u feel weird. Its like very exposeed and anything can come out from nowhere. Its like the sense of security is lost, but then again it seems like the inside is more dangerous then the outside......The 断手断脚
See anything familiar? If u are more observant , u will find the King's chocolate cup still at the coffee table while the King is no where in sight. Typical actions of a King i suppose....just leave things lyin ard when u finish using them. Acting like a king to be waited upon but when u are juz a ccb couch swine, u are juz known as 断手断脚, no head no tail... No amt of vulgarities can suppress the 断手断脚ness of couch swine......Just take a look....
This is suppose to be a dining table, but look at what its become after Couch Swine passes through it or couch swine taking fancy of it......
The holy pants of the emperor's new clothes. Left hanging ard. Waiting for god noes who to keep for the fark couch swine....
After enjoying the repetitive views of the same movie or etc, the disc is left above the player. It gets piled up until the mother or father cannot tahan den will keep for the 断手断脚....the ccb couch swine 
Here lies the oil stains of the 断手断脚 again, keys and xxxx on a seat that is meant for butts. Imagine a butt to the keys or the xxxx. SongNess
Once again, the bag of the 断手断脚 when he returns from school. Leaves his fark bag there when he ascends his throne. Occupying not 1 not 2 not 3 but the entire house, thinking that this really is his palace aka sty.
And here we hav the ultimate prize of the day....refrigerated wallet and HP......[子女本是前世欠的债]
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Stunt 22: Beer Pig ah, Beer Pig....
Happy Father's Day......
Sad to say, once again its the gatherin of the 三姑六婆..... this time damage to the ears is 55% only...cause their target is Beer Pig..( 爽爽爽)... He is abt to go tekong liao, of course unless he 'pao lu'...
Auntie J:你几时当兵？
Auntie C:你头发为什么那么乱?
Granny:你几时当兵？
(Pls note that the above 3 people spoke simultaneously aka all at once)
Mother:你几时要下来剪头发？
(This is before Beer Pig could reply to the above 3qns)
Beer Pig: Erm,,,Er
Auntie J:你当兵,你怕吗？
Auntie C:Aiyo为什么你怕?
(Simultaneously again, if not one after another)
Beer Pig: Huh, I neva scared ma!!!
XM:为什么Beer Pig要剪头发？它都要剃Botak了....
Mother: 它的那么长，剃了会痛的。我帮它剃一点先....
xm: 进去了还是要剃的，就算你skinhead or botak了还是要给$3.00sgd剃的,scam de
Mother: 我怕它痛....
(Diao....really is 爱子心切)
Luckily, the food arrived and save Beer Pig from all the 'Ee Ee Orr Orr'
After Dinner, this happened....our cock Beer Pig in action again...
Sad to say, once again its the gatherin of the 三姑六婆..... this time damage to the ears is 55% only...cause their target is Beer Pig..( 爽爽爽)... He is abt to go tekong liao, of course unless he 'pao lu'...
Auntie J:你几时当兵？
Auntie C:你头发为什么那么乱?
Granny:你几时当兵？
(Pls note that the above 3 people spoke simultaneously aka all at once)
Mother:你几时要下来剪头发？
(This is before Beer Pig could reply to the above 3qns)
Beer Pig: Erm,,,Er
Auntie J:你当兵,你怕吗？
Auntie C:Aiyo为什么你怕?
(Simultaneously again, if not one after another)
Beer Pig: Huh, I neva scared ma!!!
XM:为什么Beer Pig要剪头发？它都要剃Botak了....
Mother: 它的那么长，剃了会痛的。我帮它剃一点先....
xm: 进去了还是要剃的，就算你skinhead or botak了还是要给$3.00sgd剃的,scam de
Mother: 我怕它痛....
(Diao....really is 爱子心切)
Luckily, the food arrived and save Beer Pig from all the 'Ee Ee Orr Orr'
After Dinner, this happened....our cock Beer Pig in action again...
Beer Pig volunteered to drive the way back after dinner and when he was abt to exit the carpark, he saw a taxi stoppin by the roadside. Hence, he decided to turn into the other forward lane.....
There was another taxi behind beer pig whom was also exitin the car park. It too turned into the other forward lane seeing the taxi by the road side.....following behind beer pig...
Seeming like all was well but Beer Pig hit the brakes and suddenly slowed the vehicle down calmly when he came side by side wif the taxi that was by the road.... He turned to the father who was siting beside in the front passenger sit wif a semi-confident look, looking to him for reassurance,but all he got was ....................a LOUD HORN from the taxi behind.
When asked why he stopped the car when both the lanes were clear, Beer Pig's reply was he sharply saw that the taxi by the roadside was abt to move off and he scared the taxi will hit him...
Well, thats Beer Pig..... Applause please......thank you.....
Triggering another thought.....
.............. A Few weeks ago..............................................
Beer Pig crashed the car
Yeah, wohooo, finally, yes liao, HSLG
Apparently he said some van hit him from behind during peak hour on the PIE...Claims that it was not his fault and he was the victim. He immediately called the father when it happended and naturally he got off the car to speak wif the other driver. When Beer Pig did this, he left the keys on the car and he got locked out of it...(How cock, dumbass)
Beer Pig gets 反锁ed and i hav to bring him the spare keys, got hurried out of the toilet when i was down wif the brown...tmd....cockass
Then when Beer Pig got back, the mother once again 爱子心切, ask about all the insurance stuff and pretend to know alot when she actually only noes abit. Beer Pig was hit from the back, he was alone in the car and guess wad, the mother ask him to claim for injuries when he actually has none on him. She says that this is a good chance to A $$$$. She says Beer Pig should see a Doc, say his old injury of a dislocated left shoulder relapsed because of the accident. Beer Pig upon hearin this grinned wif glee.......
(Wah lau eh, where got mother like datt teach son de....ask son go cheat $$$$ wor)
Beer Pig crashed the car
Yeah, wohooo, finally, yes liao, HSLG
Apparently he said some van hit him from behind during peak hour on the PIE...Claims that it was not his fault and he was the victim. He immediately called the father when it happended and naturally he got off the car to speak wif the other driver. When Beer Pig did this, he left the keys on the car and he got locked out of it...(How cock, dumbass)
Beer Pig gets 反锁ed and i hav to bring him the spare keys, got hurried out of the toilet when i was down wif the brown...tmd....cockass
Then when Beer Pig got back, the mother once again 爱子心切, ask about all the insurance stuff and pretend to know alot when she actually only noes abit. Beer Pig was hit from the back, he was alone in the car and guess wad, the mother ask him to claim for injuries when he actually has none on him. She says that this is a good chance to A $$$$. She says Beer Pig should see a Doc, say his old injury of a dislocated left shoulder relapsed because of the accident. Beer Pig upon hearin this grinned wif glee.......
(Wah lau eh, where got mother like datt teach son de....ask son go cheat $$$$ wor)
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Stunt 21:原来如此.....
As the sayin goes:"There's always a catch to anything good....没有白吃的午餐". Once again I hav been blinded by the sudden acts of goodness from Beer Pig....真是没好康。
My flight back from Hong Kong was late at night and as i din wan to hail a cab, I called the father to ask Beer Pig to bring my ride to the Airport.When the plane landed and i turned my mobile on, i received a small surprise, Beer Pig was already at the terminal waitin. This made me wonder:'how and why on earth is the beer pig willin to come and why is he on time..hmmm...'
As i passed thru the customs and arrived at the waitin area, Beer Pig spotted me. To my amazement, he was full of zest, jumped and waved at me the moment he saw me.... ( was he too excited to pick someone up from the plane house as he has neva done so b4? Nah cant be)....
He quickly approached me and offered to push my trolley for me? ( i was like wad de...????) R,Y & P was like wondering too...'How come yr bro so enthu? Why he like super friendly ah?' Y wondered if he was excited becaues he tot that i will buy smtg for him...Which then brings me to the point--> I bought him a bottle of Baley's thinkin that he was nice enuf to come down and pick me up,which i totally regret now and blame my dumb self...To add on to the weirdness, he even bought me a drink...(diao...huh...???scratches head)
Strangely again when we exited the buildin, he told us to wait while he brings the car over...since when were his gestures so nice?...I was wonderin if its because my frends are ard and he din wan to xia suay himself, so make himself more postive lookin...(No, its not like this de,,,,all fake de)
After droppin P & R off, Beer Pig requested to be dropped at Bukit Panjang to meet his frend. I tot well its fair enuf as he did come to pick me up and i shall not question his doins...(Darn i was dumbs at tat time, shd hav dragged him home)...Thinkin that all was well, i reached home and left all the luggage in the car with the idea that i can unpack tomorrow....not knowin wad was brewin and the storm that was in store for me.....
I bathed, made my bed and juz as i was abt to lie down and greet the sandman, the father came walkin into the room..."aye,你回来了啊。。。！！","Beer Pig 去载你ah?". I replied him yes and told him that i dropped beer pig off at Bukit Panjang.....That I tell u, put a smack across his face and woke him from his dreamy state...
Father:为什么Beer Pig 在 Bukit Panjang?
Me: 因为是我载它去的。。。(Aiyo..Dooh,Really is dumb qn leh, Din i juz tell u i drove him there...)
Father: 我叫它今天帮我做工，它跑去Bukit Panjang,cham liaos...
Me:Den 怎么办...
Father: erm, 不然你帮我lor, 你mother生病不能下去...
Me: huh...!!!???....OK lor...
晴天霹雳
I LL suck tumb bo bian.....
The pieces of the puzzle had come together, i finally saw the whole scam, wad beer pig was planning all along... No wonder he was so enthu and happy to see me. No wonder he bought me a drink. No wonder he was willing to come down to airport to pick me up. No wonder he acted so nice and postive and friendly. SCAM de...TMD !@&^%#@@#%^**^%#@
He was jus happy to see his CCP days over as I hav returned....TMD KnnBccB
The Point to note here is he 跑路....
.................................几天后..................................................................
After a few days of CCP life, I found out that on tat very day Beer Pig came to pick me at the airport, he toke the car and left at ard 10pm when he was suppose to be at the airport at 1am...WTF.... Heard tat it took the car to meet his fren in Thomson...( wad the fish is his issue wif thomson man? always go there, Langa car also langa there, maybe he bury his treasue there? wads his treasue? oh, u wun wan to noe...haha)
Durin the few days of Beer Pig's ccp life, the father was under tremendous pressure as mentioned by the father.... Beer Pig keep hurryin the father to close shop and go back when it was only 12pm (Hello...Lunch time close shop???? confirm the brain grow on the ass de...). When the father juz did a dish, he would ask the father to throw it away, say keep liao la, dun do so much dishes to sell.He din do the washin nor did he help prepare the ingredients. All he did was sell,count $$$$ and fed on the food when it was ready...( EH, the food is suppose to be sold, not be used to feed pigs de wor, tmd)He watched by the side as the father washed the plates, issuin futher pressure on the father to release him from the ccp life... when asked by the malay stall why din he help wif the washin...His reply was: "Oh, its not my job, not my duty"... Everyday he would ask the father: " 爸，你几时要fire我?"....
The bottom line---> He is paid $50.00 to work 4 hrs a day..
The latest i heard today at CCP stall...'爸，我很难过. 要当兵了,我很伤心,sad。I think 我要逃兵。'
Swee. Song. HSLG liao....
---"跑路的猪拖到Pekin还是跑路的猪"
My flight back from Hong Kong was late at night and as i din wan to hail a cab, I called the father to ask Beer Pig to bring my ride to the Airport.When the plane landed and i turned my mobile on, i received a small surprise, Beer Pig was already at the terminal waitin. This made me wonder:'how and why on earth is the beer pig willin to come and why is he on time..hmmm...'
As i passed thru the customs and arrived at the waitin area, Beer Pig spotted me. To my amazement, he was full of zest, jumped and waved at me the moment he saw me.... ( was he too excited to pick someone up from the plane house as he has neva done so b4? Nah cant be)....
He quickly approached me and offered to push my trolley for me? ( i was like wad de...????) R,Y & P was like wondering too...'How come yr bro so enthu? Why he like super friendly ah?' Y wondered if he was excited becaues he tot that i will buy smtg for him...Which then brings me to the point--> I bought him a bottle of Baley's thinkin that he was nice enuf to come down and pick me up,which i totally regret now and blame my dumb self...To add on to the weirdness, he even bought me a drink...(diao...huh...???scratches head)
Strangely again when we exited the buildin, he told us to wait while he brings the car over...since when were his gestures so nice?...I was wonderin if its because my frends are ard and he din wan to xia suay himself, so make himself more postive lookin...(No, its not like this de,,,,all fake de)
After droppin P & R off, Beer Pig requested to be dropped at Bukit Panjang to meet his frend. I tot well its fair enuf as he did come to pick me up and i shall not question his doins...(Darn i was dumbs at tat time, shd hav dragged him home)...Thinkin that all was well, i reached home and left all the luggage in the car with the idea that i can unpack tomorrow....not knowin wad was brewin and the storm that was in store for me.....
I bathed, made my bed and juz as i was abt to lie down and greet the sandman, the father came walkin into the room..."aye,你回来了啊。。。！！","Beer Pig 去载你ah?". I replied him yes and told him that i dropped beer pig off at Bukit Panjang.....That I tell u, put a smack across his face and woke him from his dreamy state...
Father:为什么Beer Pig 在 Bukit Panjang?
Me: 因为是我载它去的。。。(Aiyo..Dooh,Really is dumb qn leh, Din i juz tell u i drove him there...)
Father: 我叫它今天帮我做工，它跑去Bukit Panjang,cham liaos...
Me:Den 怎么办...
Father: erm, 不然你帮我lor, 你mother生病不能下去...
Me: huh...!!!???....OK lor...
晴天霹雳
I LL suck tumb bo bian.....
The pieces of the puzzle had come together, i finally saw the whole scam, wad beer pig was planning all along... No wonder he was so enthu and happy to see me. No wonder he bought me a drink. No wonder he was willing to come down to airport to pick me up. No wonder he acted so nice and postive and friendly. SCAM de...TMD !@&^%#@@#%^**^%#@
He was jus happy to see his CCP days over as I hav returned....TMD KnnBccB
The Point to note here is he 跑路....
.................................几天后..................................................................
After a few days of CCP life, I found out that on tat very day Beer Pig came to pick me at the airport, he toke the car and left at ard 10pm when he was suppose to be at the airport at 1am...WTF.... Heard tat it took the car to meet his fren in Thomson...( wad the fish is his issue wif thomson man? always go there, Langa car also langa there, maybe he bury his treasue there? wads his treasue? oh, u wun wan to noe...haha)
Durin the few days of Beer Pig's ccp life, the father was under tremendous pressure as mentioned by the father.... Beer Pig keep hurryin the father to close shop and go back when it was only 12pm (Hello...Lunch time close shop???? confirm the brain grow on the ass de...). When the father juz did a dish, he would ask the father to throw it away, say keep liao la, dun do so much dishes to sell.He din do the washin nor did he help prepare the ingredients. All he did was sell,count $$$$ and fed on the food when it was ready...( EH, the food is suppose to be sold, not be used to feed pigs de wor, tmd)He watched by the side as the father washed the plates, issuin futher pressure on the father to release him from the ccp life... when asked by the malay stall why din he help wif the washin...His reply was: "Oh, its not my job, not my duty"... Everyday he would ask the father: " 爸，你几时要fire我?"....
The bottom line---> He is paid $50.00 to work 4 hrs a day..
The latest i heard today at CCP stall...'爸，我很难过. 要当兵了,我很伤心,sad。I think 我要逃兵。'
Swee. Song. HSLG liao....
---"跑路的猪拖到Pekin还是跑路的猪"
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